How to Write About Silver Medals: The Best Ways College Essays Talk About Loss and Failure

Failure in College Essays

Writing college application essays can be daunting, especially when the topic revolves around sensitive subjects like loss and failure. However, when approached thoughtfully, these experiences can reveal your resilience, growth, and character. Whether it's a close call in a debate, a narrow miss in sports, or any competition where you came second, these stories can be compelling narratives in your college essays. In this post, we'll discuss how to effectively write about losing, the lessons it teaches, and why these experiences can be just as impactful as stories of triumph.

It is Still Best to Win in the End

The best essays about second place come from the students who do, eventually, win. A Math Olympiad champion's success will be front and center on her resume, allowing an essay about her failure the prior year to really build emotional depth behind that triumph. However, even students who have yet to win can frame their essays in a way that leans towards a positive conclusion, potentially by discussing their plans to win the event senior year in one last hurrah.

Why Write About Loss and Failure?

1. Lacking Wins: Most high school students don't actually win anything, and so they have no choice but to write about a second place (or lower) finish. This isn't the best reason to embrace this essay type, and many students in this situation would benefit from picking a different topic.
2. Character Development: Overcoming challenges and dealing with disappointments shape your character. Sharing these stories can illustrate your maturity, self-awareness, and ability to handle adversity. This works especially well for students that did win in the end.
3. Authenticity: College admissions officers are looking for genuine and authentic stories. Narratives about loss and failure often come from a place of honesty and vulnerability, which can be very compelling. This only works if your essay touches on your top extracurricular.
4. Growth and Resilience: Discussing failure allows you to highlight how you've grown from the experience. It shows that you are resilient, can learn from setbacks, and are capable of personal development. This works for everyone, but is a very common theme, so use it with caution.

Choosing the Right Experience of Loss

Not all experiences of loss and failure are created equal in the context of a college essay. Here are some guidelines for selecting the right story:

1. Significance: Choose an experience that had a meaningful impact on you. It should be a moment that prompted reflection and personal growth. The best test for significance is your college application resume - this moment should hit your top extracurricular, or the most important theme in your application.
2. Uniqueness: There are many common forms of loss. In a game of basketball, one team loses every time. Memorable losses are memorable stories; last second buzzer beaters, game ending injuries, the sort of things you'd see in a family friendly sports movie. If the story of your loss is descriptive, add in layers of unique narrative until it feels like "Friday Night Lights".
3. Learning Opportunity: The best stories are those where you learned something valuable. You will need to extract life lessons from this event, and so ideally the loss should be your fault. Unavoidable acts of God make for unique stories, but they don't sell you as a candidate, and that's your primary goal in the essay.

Structuring Your College Essay

1. Set the Scene [2 Sentences, Tops]: Start by providing context. Describe the competition or challenge, your role, and the stakes involved. Logistical details are less important than emotional ones, so emphasize your heavy breathing over the style of elimination bracket.
2. Describe the Moment of Failure [5 Sentences, Max]: Be honest and detailed about what happened. Don’t shy away from expressing your emotions and thoughts during the moment of loss. Blame yourself, directly, honestly, and bluntly, especially if the loss was your fault. Err on the side of self-flagellation.
3. Reflect on the Experience [As Many Sentences as Needed]: In many student essays, section is trite platitudes. You need to structure your reflections in a unique and standout way. Don't sit in your room, thinking calmly. Put yourself back in the moment of failure, head spinning, emotionally wrought. You'll tell a better story from the moment of emotional pain.
4. Connect to the Future [To Word Limit]: Tie your experience to your future goals. Ideally, explain how the specific college you are targeting would benefit from your emotional resiliency and gritty personality. Explain how you plan on continuing the activity or sport into college, either competitively or purely for fun. Explain either how you are willing to lose more, or how you'll work to never lose again.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Being Too Negative: While it’s important to be honest about your feelings, avoid dwelling too much on the negative aspects. Focus on the positive outcomes and what you learned.
2. Blaming Others: Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions. Blaming others can come across as immature.
3. Overgeneralizing: Be specific about your experience and what you learned. Avoid vague statements that don’t add depth to your story.
4. Lack of Reflection: Simply describing the failure without reflecting on its impact will not make a strong essay. Make sure to include thoughtful reflection on how the experience changed you.

Final Thoughts

When writing your failure in college essays, remember that your goal is to present a holistic picture of who you are. Losses and failures are a part of life, and how you handle them says a lot about your character. By thoughtfully writing about these experiences, you can demonstrate your resilience, maturity, and ability to learn and grow. At Admyssion, we believe in the power of authentic storytelling, and we hope these tips help you craft a compelling essay that showcases your true self.